The “Fun” part of Bipolar

My sleep is so messed up. I went to bed at 9:45 last night. Thought I’d get a nice night of sleep before the weekend to feel rested. Everyone knows how much sleep can help you or mess with you. Thought I had a full nice night of rest ahead.

I woke up at 2:00am to it being eerily silent in my house. I sleep with my TV on quietly just for some background noise. When I woke up it was pitch black and nothing. I sat up and made sure the TV bill was paid, and it is. Restarted the TV, nothing. Went downstairs and reset the DVR and fixed it. I watched 2 shows and couldn’t fall asleep. I’m wide awake now. Took the dog out. Did some bills, scheduled some work appointments.

Today is the anniversary of when my puppy died 2 years ago and I cant get that out of my head either. My mind is RACING. it’s too early in the day to take a Xanax because then I’ll fall asleep right before I need to get the kids up and have to get myself ready for work.

As I sit here and write this I cant believe how LOUD the second hand is on the clock next to me. The damn tick-tocking is so intense I’m wondering if something is wrong with it.

I’m going to have to mention this to the doctor. Other than this my meds have been working great. In the beginning I thought the sleep was messed up while adjusting to them. It’s been over 6 weeks now and I feel like it might be more of a side effect than an adjustment period.

I have no trouble falling asleep. But now that I’m up, I’m up. I’ve never taken so many naps in my life. I’m not a nap person. I don’t like this part. It also sounds like I have more than one clock in here because I’m hearing the second hand ticks from all over the place. This is when I’m starting to feel like I might be crazy.

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