No Title for This One.

I’ve been sitting in the same place on the floor since 10:30am. Folding about 29 loads of laundry. I did take a nap, but even then woke up confused. Thought we had to take the garbage out real quick before the truck came. It was 6:30…..pm.

My body isn’t cooperating and neither is my brain. My heart is trying. I’m gonna need some help. I’ve been researching grants and financial help because I think I need real help. I need to get put in somewhere for a little bit. I’m not healthy. Don’t know exactly when this happened but I am not ok. I’m not a danger to myself so maybe I can do an outpatient thing. All I know is I stared at the same part of the floor today for about 40 min before I snapped out of it. And even then I didn’t know how to move.

I told TH that I am going to need to go in somewhere….I know he’s trying to understand but we’re both very scared of finances. I swear if that wasn’t the issue I could get better. I truly don’t know how to in the mean time.

I don’t know exactly what is wrong. I have a great husband, two amazing boys and my life is great. What else do I need? Something is wrong in my noggin. The alcohol cravings are not going away.

I don’t know what to do. Don’t know what I’m going to do. All I know is I hate this. I’m afraid I’m at my rock bottom’s basement.