Well, my New Year’s resolution was a bust. I don’t even remember what it was but I know not much has changed since December 31st. So now as we head into summer months, I have a few goals and they will be my mid-year’s resolutions.
1. I NEED to get back into Ketosis. I feel miserable eating all the junk food I have been eating. The transition into Keto is a dick and a half, but once I can fight through that Keto Flu, I know I will feel so much better. I’m 20 lbs from my goal weight. I got this, duh.
2. Start working out again, already! My brother is an amazing trainer and he knows the amount of stress and anxiety I’ve been dealing with, so he’s having me come to his boxing class tomorrow. I can’t wait to beat the crap out of something. Doesn’t even matter what. Give me some gloves and point me towards a bag, a person, shit…give me a tree. I’m gonna take some anger out on it. At least I can do that instead of lunging at my arch nemesis in the grocery store and get asked not to come back (not as if that happened recently or anything). Gimme something to hit. I think it will help.
3. Get my business up and going. Well, it’s up. I need to fill my books. I’ll advertise, I’ll solicit, I’ll do whatever it takes, but when I quit the corporate world I promised myself I would make this work, and be successful. I need this to work. Doing hair is honestly my passion. I love it. I dream about ideas. How many people can say that 20 years into their career? I can. I love it. I’m great at it. I need to make this a success. And I will.
4. Fix my relationships. There’s so many I have to repair. I could scroll through my contacts and write apology letters to so many people. Although I have so many individual things to apologize and ask for forgiveness for, they will all end the same. “I’m sorry I am a shitty friend (sister/daughter/mother/wife). I’m sorry I left you when I should have been by you. I’m sorry I put my own needs above you needing me. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’m sorry I’m a drunk. I’m trying to get better. I miss you. I love you.” The very last line should ask “please forgive me.” I think I’m too scared to put that one in there. I know a lot of them won’t want to, or can’t forgive me.
5. This one is going to be the absolute hardest. Quit hating myself. Not sure what it’s going to take for this to happen. Maybe if I fix the other ones this will be a little easier. I know there’s that saying “you can’t love anyone else unless you love yourself.” Well, I’m calling bullshit. I love so many people in my life. That’s WHY I need to try to forgive and love myself.
Hopefully this summer I can work on these. Maybe even be successful with them. While getting a nice tan, of course.