Bullshit.

So it’s been 25 days since my last drink. It’s been 3 weeks and 2 days since I went into the hospital and found out I had pancreatitis and liver damage. I tried to chalk it up to my Keto diet, but duh, it was from me being an alcoholic.

So please forgive me that I think this is ridiculous that I wake up today with the same intense pains in my left side that put me into the hospital a month ago came back with a vengeance. What. The. Hell.

It could be something else, right? Maybe I pulled something in my back. Maybe I am finally getting my period after the bitch has been a no-show for two months and I’m getting cramps. Maybe I ate something bad….oh no. Nope. These were all the same things I was telling myself the last time. But the pain is the same. The location is the same. The symptoms are exactly the same.

I put in a call to the gastroenterologist that did my scope last month at 9am sharp this morning. Maybe I can get ahead of it this time.

Even though there’s no booze in my system this time.

It’s now almost midnight and no call back. Luckily, one of my best friends is a nurse and told me what I should do. Back on a bland, low fat diet….clear liquids if I can. Lol yeah right. Been living off saltines and Gatorade all day. I puke anything else up so why even bother…

She told me that I most likely won’t here from the Dr in the next few days, especially since it’s a holiday weekend. I might hear from the office nurse to set up an appointment in the next few weeks, but “if it gets too bad” to go back to the emergency room.

I’m so thankful for her honesty. Cause I am NOT going back to see *Sandy* again. They’ll see I’m all sorts of fucked up and keep me for days. Well….I’m booked for work this weekend. And I need the money. So in the mean time…I’m having so much fun on this bland-ass diet. I’m drinking my detox water….I’m trying to get some relief out of the few expired pain pills I have in the back of the medicine cabinet.

As much as I know that quitting drinking is best for me, for my kids, for my marriage, for my wallet…..

This is still such absolute bullshit. I quit a month ago and now I’m right in the same place….without the fun part.

FU, Vodka.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s